Humor Break | 9/8/2010

Top 10 Things the New Aibo Robot Will Do Next

Sony has just released the latest version of Aibo, its popular, if budget-busting, robotic pet. It seems so real, even flashing its red eyes in anger and chirping when happy. Better yet, Sony brags that its hairless wonder can learn. What will Aibo do next? Here are a few ideas:

1. The New Lassie: "What's that, Aibo? Timmy's stuck in the Well?"

2. Tai-Bo: The mechanized pooch leads you in a new exercise program, created by Sony and Billy Blanks, that involves lurching around the floor, chasing a pink ball, and pretending to piddle on the carpet.

3. World Domination: Build up an army of robotic quadrupeds to enslave the pitiful human race.

4. Crossbreed With Your Waffle Iron: The offspring could make you breakfast, then deliver it to you in bed.

5. MTV Revenge: Devour the entire "Real World" New Orleans cast and crew.

6. Forage for Food: Ambush the Purina Chuck Wagon stagecoach using onboard GPS and electromagnetic pulse weaponry.

7. Play Cards: Swindle the neighborhood dogs at poker.

8. Celebrity Death Match: Aibo vs. Tickle Me Elmo. Brought to you by the letter C.

9. The Thrill of the Hunt: Shoot, retrieve, and debone a holiday goose.

10. Count Ballots: The camera in its snout should be able to accurately sniff out voters' intent.