Humor Break | 7/30/2010

THE DATA-PROCESSING/INFORMATION/SERVICES DIRECTOR/MANAGER'S GUIDE TO PERSONAL SURVIVAL.

Go placidly amid the politics and decision making, and remember what peace there may be in the silence of your own office.

(Remember, too, that if all else fails, there is always an educational course going on somewhere, set in salubrious surroundings - a course you may justifiably attend and for which the organization will pay.)

As far as possible, do not believe in miracles, but learn to rely on them. Speak convincingly when in doubt, and when in trouble, delegate.

Listen to others, for the dull and ignorant, sometimes even your own staff, have the inside information.

Keep interested in your own career, and take note of other people's mistakes, however mighty or humble, for they can be a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your affairs, for the organization is full of trickery. Remember that there is virtue in only giving verbal orders, never committing to storage accessible by others any writings that could ever conceivably be held against you.

Be yourself. Do not be cynical about profits, for in the face of all trends and economic indicators, governments, revenue authorities, financial controllers, accountants and auditors, you know that with careful programming, they can be as perennial as grass.

Nurture the strength of spirit to shield yourself from divisional cut-backs, but do not distress yourself with imaginings. Even if you are, as you know, only moderately able, you should have allowed for them in your carefully inflated forecasts. What else are spreadsheets for?

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering your naivety.

Many fears are born of overwork and exclusion from seemingly important meetings. Should this be troublesome to you, you can always join the local computing society and become its president: after all everyone else has. This will impress those set in authority, and will ensure that you will never have the agony of having to go through a solitary decision again.

Beyond a wholesome salary indexed to at least the rate of inflation and guaranteed in your contract, and also an inflation-proofed pension, and control of a reasonable expense account - where you define what is reasonable - be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the organization, no less that the directors, your fellow executives, the union representatives and your staff.

You have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the structure is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with your superiors - whoever you conceive them to be, and whatever your actual (as distinct from theoretical) labours and aspirations. In the noisy confusion of the organization's life, keep peace also with your co-workers and those set under you.

Do not forget that with all its shame, drudgery, and broken dreams, the organization can still be a never-ending source of increased real income.

Be seen with enough of the right fellow senior executives in enough of the right meetings and important places: this indicates you are pulling your weight.

Strive to look modest but important, for however old the rule may be, it still has the mark about it of truth enshrined: an ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.